Posted 1 week ago

pseudologia-fantastica-me:

arrafrost:

lacigreen:

fulloflightning:

don’t blame women for the fact that someone they trusted betrayed them in such an intimate way

solidarity with my ladies

for real i’m so sick of everyone blaming women when their asshole partners share their PRIVATE, CONSENSUAL pictures with the public

[x]

THIS IS FOR EVERY GENDER

(Source: dutchster)

Posted 1 week ago
If a female student got drunk and had her car stolen the university would call the police. If she got drunk and had her computer stolen, they would call the police. If she got drunk and had her phone stolen, they would call the police. The fact that she was drunk would not even be factored in when assessing if a crime had been committed. But if she gets drunk and has her body invaded and her humanity stolen, school administrations are perplexed about what to do.
Posted 1 week ago
itsraininbritishmen:

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

itsraininbritishmen:

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

Posted 1 week ago

tomthefanboy:

daretocomply:

ice-cream-and-cigarettes:

achievement-hunter:

miggylol:

pumpkin spice candles soon

pumpkin lattes soon

pumpkin everything

image

image

#IT IS NOW AUGUST

image

WELCOME

TO

SOONTEMBER

Posted 1 week ago
Posted 1 week ago

why feminism should include trans women

babydraygen:

• they’re fucking women

Posted 1 week ago

twelves-impossible-girl:

notsomolly:

“Eccleston was a tiger and Tennant was, well, Tigger. Smith is an uncoordinated housecat who pretends that he meant to do that after falling off a piece of furniture.” — Steven Moffat

I think we all know who that makes Capaldi.

image

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Posted 1 week ago
samw1se:

underage-fangirl:

joelayheymanasdicks:

sobsbcyoutubers:

skin-like-snowflakes:

masterdust:

uncannibal:

guccipoop:

Beautiful

I THOUGHT IT WAS SO FLOWY AND COOL AND SO ODD LIKE WOW ITS LIKE THE PERFECT SHAPE TO FLOW DOWN AND DROP LIKE THAT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS A BUNCH OF MINIATURE DICKS SO I WAS JUST„, “OH”

I thought they were peanuts

At first glance I saw jellybeans

I thought they were babies help

I thought it was a human spine…..

The dicks only make it better

WAY TO CUT OFF THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE GIF

samw1se:

underage-fangirl:

joelayheymanasdicks:

sobsbcyoutubers:

skin-like-snowflakes:

masterdust:

uncannibal:

guccipoop:

Beautiful

I THOUGHT IT WAS SO FLOWY AND COOL AND SO ODD LIKE WOW ITS LIKE THE PERFECT SHAPE TO FLOW DOWN AND DROP LIKE THAT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS A BUNCH OF MINIATURE DICKS SO I WAS JUST„, “OH”

I thought they were peanuts

At first glance I saw jellybeans

I thought they were babies help

I thought it was a human spine…..

The dicks only make it better

WAY TO CUT OFF THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE GIF

(Source: nutnics)

Posted 1 week ago

You have no power over me.

(Source: sansasnark)

Posted 2 weeks ago

angeloespinosas:

"frozen is the best disney movie because it’s the only one that doesn’t concentrate on romantic love"

????????

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??????????????